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Thursday, June 15th, 2006
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9:54 pm - dedicated to mike, my alcoholic roommate
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why can't people just tell you when theyre pissed at you, instead of putting on a fake smile and then running behind your back to "vent" about it to the 3rd roommate like a little bitch? come on if I'm doing something or saying something that "totally fucking annoys" you then just call me out on it, i'd prefer a little healthy confrontation over a backstabbing passive agressive attack-abbey bitchfest. why do I feel like i'm still living with girls? i thought living with guys would be drama free, especially since mike acted all laid back and "i'm so chill with everything yeah man" before i signed the lease. i'm not feeling sorry for myself, just thinking out loud kind of..basically thinking Why God, Why? oh well...thingas could be worse. i guess
still unemployed, decided against the job thing for a while.
going camping with kel this weekend, should be fun. we bought tons of camping stuff all week and of course i burned a Camping '06 Mix. got some eric clapton on there, some skynard, zep, frampton. goooood stuff. lol...excited to get out into the WILD but also excited to get out of this shit hole.
peace be with you my shepards...yes im stoned off my ass..it's ok...
current mood:  mischievous
current music: i always feel like..somebody's watchin me
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, April 17th, 2006
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3:41 pm
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manning the hotel..just had to announce that the last 2 songs that have played in our front lobby were the muzak versions of a lion king song and "do that to me one more time"
why are all the cute guys taken..or just really self-involved......BAH
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, April 5th, 2006
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8:57 pm
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In a room draped in blue
I am thinking of you
I am tired, I can’t sleep
And for you I will weep
In a flash, you are gone
Yet around me life is calm
I cannot understand
Is this part of the plan?
I get cards with bouquets
But they can’t take your place
I have dreams about us
But I always wake up
I can ask all I please
I can beg down on my knees
For a reason, for a sign
But these answers I won’t find
And I will weep
Can you hear me?
Can’t you tell me why?
I’ll go on without you
And what’s left for me to do
But to stay where I am
In my world of pretend
And I won’t know until I die
If my faith was but a lie
‘Til then you’ll hear it in my cry
I didn’t want to say goodbye to you
current music: ari hest
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
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6:38 pm
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FUCK THA MEN LET'S DRINK TA US
gotta love willa ford...that amazing hilarious talented slut..so who wants to come to portland and make tender candlelit love to me? or maybe just watch reruns of gauntlet? i mean, whatever, im flexible. had class today. skipped 2nd class. on a roll as usual. i just remembered when Mrs. Spiotta was talking about Nathan Grant's tardiness one day and she was like "oh, he'll come rollin' in eventually.." then realized she had said "roll," and when ur talking about a fat person, that's funny, so she laughed. pretty hard. and i joined. it's tuesday! but not fat tuesday! i want to go to mardi gras! maybe i will! pork chop sandwiches!
i need a job
current mood:  full
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(6 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, November 1st, 2005
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3:21 pm
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I've just learned, firsthand, that rebound hookups don't make you feel any better. No matter how hot and sexually adventurous the rebound is. BAH
so now it's 3pm and i'm sitting here, still in my pajamas, eating jello and listening to elliott smith on repeat. kel and i are skipping class tonight but i have to work the overnight at 10 anyway. ugh..why do i bother getting out of bed, anyway? some days i get all showered and dressed just to go get groceries or like go to target to get printer paper or socks..it's so lame. i just feel really drained and lonely and invisible. the only time i laugh is when im stoned off my ass, which is actually all the time lately. it's been a shitty week and I hate working 40 hrs a week but I just HAVE to be miss independent and blow all my money on starbucks and ill-fitting clothes that no one will ever notice. kill me please that way it will look like an accident and my family wont be quite as devastated as if i jumped out my fucking window onto congress street.
this was a morbid entry but i havent told anyone how i really feel lately, i just needed to get some of it out. i love my friends and everything, but honestly, i never really see any of them because i'm always so busy and exhausted. and now there's no guy in the picture, either. whatever, off to do some hw.
current mood:  drained
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, September 1st, 2005
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2:07 pm - ....
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I wonder if she could tell I'm hard right now hmmm
Yeah come on dance for me baby ha ha yeah
Oh oh you feel that? Alright
Come on don't stop now
You done did it come on uh yeah alright hold on
Baby when we're grinding
I get so excited
Ooh how I like it
I try but I can't fight it
Oh your dancing real close
Plus real real slow
(You know what you're doing don't you)
You're making it hard for me
All the slow songs you requested
You're dancing like you're naked
Oh, it's almost like we're sexing (oh yeah)
Yeah boo, I like it
No, I can't deny it
But I know you can tell
I'm excited, oh girl
Step back you're dancing kinda close
I feel a little poke coming through
On you
Now girl I know you felt it
Boo you know I can't help it
You know what I wanna do
Baby girl's dancing so close
Ain't a good idea
Cuz I'mma want you now and here
The way that you shake it on me
Makes me want you so bad sexually
Oh girl
I love when you shake it like that, ah, ah, ah
I see that you like it like that, ha, ha, hahh
I love when you shake it like that, ah, ah, ah
I see that you like it like that, ha, ha, hahh
Well baby I like the way that you grind
On me
I like the way you move
You're makin' me want you
Oh the way you move
I like those things you do
But you're a little too close
current mood:  thirsty
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, August 19th, 2005
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11:59 pm
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I had such a good day.,..went to the promenade with kim, hung out with jill and met ryan and their friend nate. we went to see 40 yr old virgin which was SO funny....omg i loved it. then came back and met ezra in the law school parking lot lol..smoked some Salvia that Tomer had sent over from italy,good times....ezra didnt like it very muhc cuz he "wanst tripping" so he gave the whole fuckin bag to me...i love that guy. then came to the dorm and did karaoke witht he asians. got kind of annoyed after they played "daydream believer" twice..sthen came to my room and helpoed LumLum with her lab report. she spelled "tests" and "testes" and spellcheck didnt pick it up sdo i laughed out loud and she thought it was funny too, i think..it remided me of when Yoshi spelled that sign at the sushi bar and hung it with pride: "NO PUBIC RESTROOMS"
ive already said too much...but there';s more
some people are disgusting. just phony queers
but whatever. goodnight
current mood:  high
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
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12:24 pm - an update, assuming anyone gives a corn-laden shit
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quit sapporo, am only working on paint crew here at the dommm, living in the same fucking room with the same fucking winners as before, saw 3 huge rats in the parking lot last night, getting poorer by the minute, and its already aug 2nd which means i hate school
good stuff-- i'm getting tanner since i have all this free time.....i'm still getting me food stamps cuz the govamunt dont know im jobless yet....dad fixed my car window....i didnt get arrested the other day after setting off the alarm at old navy.....yeah i guess things are swell
life is awesome here on congress st, getting used to the fact that nobody will ever come to ME as long as im here, i always have to go to THEM and make the EFFORT and my pits smell like SOUP and maybe i need a SHOWER after paint CREW the guy im working with keeps asking if i have a BOYFRIEND regardless of said ODOR but at least im eating a delicious blueberry MUFFIN ok this is getting weird
current mood:  predatory
current music: this icon wants to know if you'd like some candy
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, July 20th, 2005
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12:51 am - you know its good weed when the sentence "kenny g i actually an attractive man" comes out of your mo
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ok i just had an 80's wedding dance party in my car whle i was driving home...like i said, it was good weed.......my thing was dancing like i was at an 80's wedding reception...ieven like flipped my hair to one side, cuz im nuts and then i was unnknmowingly laying on my horn in traffic..
and then i got a pretty formal "date request" i mean the guy def put some effort into it, but because im SHALLow and mean and pturned off by so many things, i turned him down in a really lame way. im so picky with ugly fucked up lookinf guys but tend to igmnore the personality flaws of hotter poeople. why am i being so hard on myself all of s asuddem..well i jkinda feel guilty about it so i guess that shows i have a smadge of compassiona..oh well, im just so over guys right now. ..its like the first time i dont have a crush on a guy. i like one of the other waitresses, but she;s moving to jefferson next week anyway. so no prospects. and im rejecting the rejects slowly but surely. its like getting my colon thoroughly cleansed
postsecret.com
.,,,,,...turn on some sad alanis/paula/tori/cranberries/rickie lee and read these. but only if youre in a bad mood or bummed about something. and tell me if you dont cry!!
current mood:  tired
current music: eva
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 7th, 2005
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2:54 pm
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please come to portland hall i need you to fix my broken dvd player and my broken heart
no seriously though, i just bought jerry mafuckingguire and i want to watch it, but i cant and here's a list of electronics that dont work
my car stereo (faceplate detached, cant skip forward only rewind)
my computa (recevied a sweet AIM virus from brady lake but i cant reinstall Norton, so my cd burner and dvd player dont work)
my dvd player
my Remington bikini line groomer
derek and brandon and tomer moved out. the only 3 hot guys ever to live in this fucking dorm. but i miss derek already..we got to paint together on tuesday and it was just us, we talked for a while and he was really nice. ive liked him since september, and nothing has ever happened. to a sane person, that would be a big flashing sign, but i'm not really living on any specific planet. hopefully i get over this one fast, have to move on to the next failure. i'm having a horrible week and i just want to have a good cry but my roommate's here and she'll get all freaked out because its not like people ever need to release pent up frustration or anything.
i think i'm just going to go pick up a lawn chair at walmart. then off to the WCLZ concert with dad. woo these are the best days of my life
current mood:  crushed
current music: stereophonics
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 18th, 2005
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1:19 am
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worked late night sushi. hung out with kellie just now so im a smadge stoned. what\ else do i have ikn my life. i guess its better than drinking, the onther night at work my booss made me stay late so i kept sneaking rum into my coke and smore and more rum as the night went on. i was like teetering ovr to my tables by the end,,,i must make my family so proudlol. my boss reamed me all day. we're not allowed to yawn, laugh, or lean on anything. im tired of this Jap shit, all day long I get his stupid voice and trying tounderstand wheter he just aseked or "2 rimes" in his gin and tonic or if i need to serve ,more fried lice to my customer. but i make good money.nDAMN good money, you think youre betta than me?
RIP chad, i never saw this coming
current mood:  confused
current music: bryan adams greatest hits
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, June 12th, 2005
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1:39 am
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just got back from jane's, it was fun. im not trying to be a boob who like reports every social activity but i really cant think of anything else to write..except that i'm having ginger ale and the carbonation is so strong that drinking it hurts my throat and nose. also i made good tips tonight, even tho i fucked up alot. but right after a guy got pissed at me for bringing him the light version (he wanted lager), these 2 HOT ASS guys -unfortunately they were TOGETHER- left me a note saying how good my service was. it brought warm, unfamiliar sensations to my earlobes. now i'm rockin out to the party monster sdtk. just an excuse to use my headphones...someone LemLem knows just died and she was sobbing on the phone for like 15 min straight and i'm way too tired to pretend that i care. oh and dad met me for breakfast this morning which was probably the best thing that happened all day which means my life is sad
current mood: douchebaggy
current music: party monster with some bonnie raitt thrown in tha mix
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, May 21st, 2005
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10:30 pm - SARAHHHHH
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SO...last night was the best night I've had in a really long time. It started out with me being really bummed out about not having tickets to see Sarah at the civic center..but I'm so obsessed with her that I walked down just to see if I ciuld hear her playing from outside. When i got there, the lobby doors were still unlocked so I walked in and sat down outside the actual arena, and the door was cracked open so I could see one of the huge projector screens, and it was loud enough so I could hear it well too. I was content with sitting out there but I noticed one of the staff guys kept ushering ppl in, so I went up to him and said I didnt have a ticket but I really wanted to go in, and he let me!!! I was standing on the 1st level, in full view of Sarah and omg i have never been so happy. EVER. I'm glad I was alone, too, because I was free to just rock out and not worry about any weird stares or someone saying "abbey youre way to into this"...because I WAS really into it, I even started crying a few times just from being so overwhelmed. She sounded amazing, the effects and staging were fantastic, the whole thing was perfect. I'd gotten super stoned before (to ease the pain of not having a ticket...), which just made it that more unfuckingbelievable. I walked back home and didnt even care that i looked really weird grinning the entire time, it was so awesome and 100% FREE and so fun, I'm just happy that something actually worked out for once.
today on the other hand was lame and i've been doing un-fun things since 9 am and now its time for sleep.
current mood: tired
current music: sarah, just trying to relive it..
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, May 2nd, 2005
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8:36 am
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I think I have a disbility because no matter how tired I am, I can never sleep past 9 am. I dont get it..even when I fall asleep around 3 or 4, I'm up at 9. my point- i'm really fucking tired and I have time to sleep in but I cant do it. ugh.....so instead, I'm going to do some homework and try to get some job app's around town. I also have to register for classes at 4 then pass in my summer housing stuff. I hate the end of the year. so much shit to do, I'm ready to start painting and cleaning shit off toilets, i really welcome it.
other things: i really like the aqualung song from A Lot Like Love, i'm starting tan sessions again soon, i need a bathing suit, the boston guy is a tease and i'm done with him, family guy wasnt as funny as i thought it would be last night but south park reruns took care of my comic needs, i'm really craving chicken but its 8:45 am, and i'm heading to the shower
current mood: tired
current music: 10,000 maniacs
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 17th, 2005
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9:07 am
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How ya'll feelin TONIGHT/?? actually its really early. it's 9 am and i'm showered and dressed, this never happens. especially after being out until 3 am. i think i'm going to crash and burn around 6 pm tonight though. we're going to boston in a bit, just shopping and the museums. that i JUST went to 2 weeks ago but anawayth. neither here nor there..
i got to see miss stacy last night! we went to the circus YES WE DID and then to her friends' unbirthday party, it was so fun and she had all the fixins to make me a pretty sweet Flashdance-esque chesire cat costume. nothing like sippin' on razz watchnig stace aka tweedle dee, tango to Creedence clearwater at 2 am...
i am SO excited for school to be over. only 3 weeks left, and then i am freeeee. no i'm not. out of the classroom and straight into the residence johns, scraping shit off toilets in the 90 degree dorms and occasionally painting some walls. in my life, the fun nevah stops ...out of the places i called about summer hiring, olive garden, bugaboo, Lone star, and IHOP are hiring. hopefully i get a job and actually save some money, because right now i'm flat broke and in $1000 debt. ok, off to blow $50 (that i dont have)in boston.
current mood:  okay
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
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11:01 am
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work is sooo boring. theres no one in the store but i'm not allowed to call anyone or do homework. right now i'm online looking at courses for fall. but i dont know if i can register, it depends on if I pass all of my classes, and i dont think thats going to happen. I'm so confused about my summer and next year. I'm living in Portland hall for the summer, working on PAINT CREW, the worst job in the world. i even applied early and put paint crew as my last choice, so of course thats what i ended up with. it's going to be hot and dirty and miserable, and its during the day so it'll be hard for me to find a job that works around The Painting and my museum job. then i wont be able to save up enough to go to school again next year, then i'll be fucked, ugh i'm stressing out again, i need another vacation
boston was fun. vacation was ok. i have a ton of homework to do this weekend, maybe i'll have Dad write a paper or two for me..i have no motivation..actually im not even motivated to keep writing this lame entry
current mood: blah
current music: whiny screaming bitch kids
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| Saturday, March 19th, 2005
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12:46 pm
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OK katie fagglestein, this one for you:) thanks for getting the DVD i'm fuckin PSYCHED DUUUUDE. I'll see you tomorrow prolly around noon. i hate people who use the word prolly
current mood:  touched
current music: my roommate's secret phone convo, as usual
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
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12:07 pm
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my only class for today got cancelled and i love my life! well, right now i do. its so sunny out and I've got a productive day planned out, hopefully i actually stick to the to-do list. i'm all about lists...and reggae cuz its so summery and yeah
i feel so lazy..i'm headed to the gym in a minute, then I have a ton of hw to do, then tonight there's a League of Pissed off Voters "vent sesh" in gorham, i'm not really sure if i'll contribute but i know i'll contribute in enjoying the FREE PIZZA
ok have a good day, freaks. i mean it. i love you guys.
current mood:  crazy
current music: cool runnings songs
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, March 12th, 2005
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7:49 am
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Happy Birthday Katie!!!
I'm so tired...but I have SO much homework to do in the next 2 days, and right now I have to go work for 8 hours. I wish we would have a snow day, the roads are really bad. i hate the children's museum but it's my only source of income for now, beh. I need to get in the gym soon. I havent worked out for 3 days and have been eating junk food all weekend. Ugh...went to the Womens studies gala last night, the panel was good..but the reception after was weird, they tried to make it too posh and metropolitan. but whatever, i got free melon out of the deal
this was a pointless entry but i really have nothing else I can do and i'm too stressed out to sleep
current mood: tired
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, February 16th, 2005
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5:51 pm - ice is cool but i'm lookin for more
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so i asked patrick if he still likes his ex girlfriend. he said he still has feelings for her, but since he cant be with her until she gets out of college (in san francisco), he wants to date around for 3 years or something. so i told him that wasn't going to happen and I was done. he said he could understand where i was coming from, but acted like a total jerk. he asked if we could still hang out as friends and i said no, that it would suck for me to be around him, and he was like "well i asked, not demanded"...what a stupid fuck. oh well. she can endure his GAY ASS singing voice, he sounds like fucking Billie Joe Armstrong on helium. she can close-mouth kiss him and his shit-breath, and she can look at how ugly and positively gross he looks in that shit-brown visor/beanie/i'm so anti/emo hat. PUKE
i hate men. i hate the whole stupid thing. it's fake, it costs too much, he'll always check out prettier chicks, it will end, have fun.
current mood: high
current music: janis ian
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